Milestones

Let’s be honest, nobody really cares what you had for breakfast or dinner last night.

Nobody cares how your workout was or that you went to the gym 75 times this week.

And nobody especially cares that you had an awesome vacation that none of the rest of us were able go on.

But what we do care about, if we genuinely care about you, is the milestones these posts often represent. This morning, I began to take the obligatory first day of school photos of my boys and realized we have reached a milestone this year. Noah, our oldest and the one refusing to smile in the photos, is starting high school. This is a milestone. High school was an unforgettable time in my life and I expect it to be in his as well. Additionally, he is growing up. He is one step closer to being out of our home and on his own. He is one step closer to becoming an adult. He is one step closer to finding his own life apart from us as his parents.

As I thought about it this morning, I enjoy being able to share in these moments of the lives of friends and family thanks to social media. We can all share in the milestones our friends and families reach. Which is what social media is about for me. I use it to share what is happening in my life and to enjoy what is happening in your life. These milestones are meant to be celebrated, to be enjoyed, and to be reveled in. These are the moments in time that draw us closer together, that builds the community we have together, and makes it stronger. Honestly, I’m in uncharted territory for me today. I have a son in high school. While this feels crazy, it is reality. I asked hims today if he was nervous and he was like no. I was nervous for him! He is attending a high school that has a ninth grade center, but is taking at least one class on the main campus. I got a little overwhelmed thinking about the fact he has to go to TWO brand new schools today. And while I know he is capable and will survive just fine, it is kind of scary.

This is where sharing these milestones comes in, because I know other parents who have already been here and experienced this. Parents who will encourage me that it is ok and that he will be ok. I know this to be true, because I have been that person for many of my friends. I am not old (unless you ask my friend Mike), but I am older. My boys aren’t grown yet, but they are older than some of my friend’s kids (and there are three of them, which is its own unique challenge). Ronda and have been married for a long time. We have hit many milestones before our friends and have the opportunity to share our experiences with our friends and family. And sometimes, we hit milestones that are new territory for us.

Milestones are what really makes life enjoyable, though right? These are the experiences we should be remembering and taking note of. These are the things that make life fun and worth living. These are the moments that often define how the rest of life is gauged. Sometimes the milestones we hit are painful and remind of us hurt. Sometimes the milestones are ones we don’t want to remember. Even those are worth remembering because they are markers of our life and where we have been. That’s what a milestone is anyway. It was originally a stone laid along the road to note when you had traveled a mile. You knew how far you had traveled by noting the number of milestones you passed. The same is still true for us. We can see how far we have come in life or how we have overcome obstacles or the course of our accomplishments or simply watch the growth of our children by noting the milestones. The significant moments that mark something special.

Enjoy my family’s cheesy first day of school photos, because for us it marks a milestone that we will remember for years to come.

Detours

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I have been thinking quite a bit about detours. What I mean by setbacks is those times when you thought you knew how life was going to go or you were pretty sure you knew what direction you were taking, only to have the script flipped on you. So you had to detour.

Generally, I hate detours. Mostly, if I’m honest, it’s because I really am a creature of habit. I like adventure as much as the next guy, but I also really like my routine. I like to know what to expect. I like to know where I am going and when I am going to get there. And detours don’t really figure into that structure.

Not that I have anything to really complain or be upset about. My life is in a pretty good place right now. Our boys are healthy and doing well. Summer was pretty good for #theFloridaWestfalls. School is about to start back, bringing with it lots of new adventures. Noah, our oldest, is starting high school this year. We have had a change up in the sports our boys play, which is going to save us money and time over the next year. Ronda and I celebrated 21 years of being married last week and had a blast doing so in the mountains of North Georgia. Ronda’s business is going very well for her. Things are good for me at work.

But, there is still that feeling of restlessness and underlying discontent. As I self-reflect to try to understand where it is coming from, I feel the root cause is speaking to a deeper issue or a deeper sense of lack. A sense that I detoured long ago and still today I am feeling the effects of that detour. Maybe an example…

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This map was taken from the Hike Inn’s website – http://hike-inn.com/

Last week, Ronda spent a couple nights at the Len Foote Hike Inn.

It was amazing. We hiked five miles from Amicalola Falls State Park to this amazing inn. Literally, in the mountains away from civilization. We then hiked up to the approach trail to the Appalachian Trail and made our way up to Springer Mountain, the southern terminus of the AT. When we left the inn to head back to the car, we took the trail that led us up to the AT approach trail and hiked that trail back out to our car. That was an equally great trail, with new sights we hadn’t seen on the way in… because it was a different trail. But once we were on the trail, we were on the trail and we had to deal with the ‘consequences’ on taking a different trail to hike out. Once we were on it, there was no going back. Technically, we could have gone back but you see what I mean.

That’s the kind of detour I feel like I am on. One that I got on a long time ago. One where the ripples of getting on it are still being felt today. And just like hiking out a different trail, this trail is a good one. It is one with new sights and new adventures I would never have imagined seeing or being a part of if not for being on it.

Sometimes, detours take longer to get to where we are going. For a number of reasons this is true. I have been called many things, but patient isn’t usually one of those things. I noticed I have difficulty being patient and waiting for things to happen or come to fruition. I have even been known to try to force things to happen, when they are happening fast enough for me. But often, rushing and forcing things to happen only makes it worse. I don’t think it is always true that good things come to those who wait, but in my case it is almost always certainly true that when I try to force things I make it worse.

Where does this leave us? I can only speak for myself, but it leaves me trying to slow down and be patient. To enjoy the detour for the sake of itself. Detours aren’t always bad, they take us to new places and put us on new paths we might not have chosen to go down if given the choice.

Easter Sunday

What does Easter mean to you? Is one of the few days of the year that you go to church? Is it a time that family gets together and you think of how thankful you are to have all of the members of your family? Is it simply chocolate, those nasty Peeps, and Easter bunnies? Whatever it means to you, I hope you enjoyed your Easter this year.

Today, my family spent time together at church. This isn’t anything new, we go to church regularly. This year it felt a little different because we are in an interesting place as it relates to a church home for us. Since Christmas, we have been doing some searching. Literal and figurative searching as we think through our current church home. You may have guessed, this is a much bigger discussion for another time…

Most of us spent several hours this afternoon with friends. We met them for lunch and I enjoyed a tasty beer I have never had before. I hesitate to name and describe it for fear my one beer-shaming friend will see this and comment. You know who you are… After lunch, two dads took five kids to a bike park and we hit a BMX pump track and a mountain bike trail together. We rode, we chilled, we hung out, we enjoyed the company and friendship of our families. Except for Ronda, she was stuck doing trial prep for a big trial she has coming up later this week. Don’t worry, I have been helping her out as much as I can.

But Easter was different this year. We didn’t cook a big meal, we didn’t have lots of people over, we didn’t make a big fuss at our house. We just went to church, ate lunch, and hung out with friends. As I sit here and look back on the day, it was likely one of my favorite Easters in recent years. Despite not making a big production of it, we made sure we hit the important parts of the day.

Food. We had food together and spent time talking to each other about things that matter in each of our lives.

Fun. We spent time together and after lunch, we didn’t tackle any large topics or discussions, we just spent time together and showed that we care about each other. I’m not going to use the catch phrase that we ‘did life together’, but I am going to say that we spent time together today, just being together today when we both needed it.

The importance of being together can’t be overrated. This is particular relevant to me as I wrestle to make sense of some things going on in my life right now. No, I don’t have anything monstrous or catastrophic happening in my life at the moment. But, I am wrestling with understanding how to navigate through a few things. Being able to be with other people and be myself and not have to worry about what they think about me feels nice.

Being able to talk to someone else who understands life is not all roses and just because we are Christians doesn’t mean life is easy and without struggle. Being able to respond to their frustrations with, ‘I feel the same way! It’s good to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t buy that lie.’

I suppose what I am really trying to say is this… whatever Easter means to you, I hope that your Easter was enjoyable and you were able to spend time with people who matter to you, doing things that matter to you.

Here we go again…

I have decided to start writing again. Lots of things have changed in my life since the last time I shared my story on a blog. Some of the changes are good, some are bad, and some are very hard for me to cope with. The decision to start writing again is motivated by a desire to have a cathartic outlet for me, but also to share my journey with you on the off chance it may help you in you story. I look forward to sharing my story with you.